Halian Etiquette

Basics
Complicated rules of conduct affect every aspect of the lives of the nobility. These rules govern everything from the clothes nobles are allowed to wear to what is acceptable to kill one another over. They have grown out of centuries of custom and practice, and the nobles firmly enforce this code. Those of the nobility that violate these policies run many risks, among them public denouncement, disownment from their Noble House, and in severe cases death.

The majority of commoners think of the nobilities rules regarding courtly love and hospitality when noble etiquette comes to mind. They are certainly the two most well known areas, for the bards often sing of both. Courtly loves inspires great songs, and the noble hospitality grants the bards food of amazing quality. They are two important aspects of etiquette, however, they are by no means the only ones.

Of course, to many nobles, especially the High Lords, these rules only apply to how nobles deal with one another. Local lords often feel that applying these conventions to their common subjects will make them more popular, and oftentimes they are right. Lower nobility oftentimes find themselves at a great disadvantage when granted a place at a High Lord's court, sometimes even finding themselves face down in a pool of their own blood. High Lords are not above having peasants murdered, rivals knifed and traders plundered, provided the acts are conducted discreetly. If their actions were ever to come to light, however, their actions would at least be publically denounced by their peers. On the other hand, greeting a higher ranking noble improperly can oftentimes be almost unforgiveable.

During the formation of the kingdom, each Noble House had their own take on these conventions, their offshoot and cadet branches most often adopting those of their parent house. Over time, these rules have become somewhat of a noble code, giving all nobility a rigid set of guidelines to follow. The punishment for violating etiquette is nowhere near as firm, however, and is at least somewhat dependent on the importance of the offending noble. In the most extreme of cases, the violator will find himself challenged to a series of duels. At the very least, the noble in violation will find himself ignored at parties. Fellow nobles who at one time used to spend hours in conversation with him now barely spend two minutes; those who used to give greetings now ignore him altogether.

If the noble in offense is not terribly important, then other nobility will cease involving him in social functions entirely. No more invitations to hunt, no more balls, no more tourneys. To some, this social banishment can be bad enough, even driving the most vain nobles to suicide, but that is not the worst punishment. The nobleman is cut off from their main source of information, and for nobles, information is second only to social status. To the High Lords especially, not knowing who is hating whom, and perhaps more importantly, who is hating that noble, can drive some mad.

Nobles who have violated social etiquette may never be fully accepted back into gentle society. No matter what one does, that niggling element of suspicion can linger forever, tainting everything they accomplish. Only the greatest feats of heroism, the strictest adherence to social conventions, or the most stunning in social efforts can clean the noble's slate.

Hospitality
Some say that the a main reason for the noble's rules regarding hospitality are to ensure the guest's safety. Those people would be completely correct. However, these laws also detail not only the host's obligation to his guests but also the obligations a guest holds to their host. If one or the other violates a rule of hospitality this breach of etiquette can be punished as the injured party sees fit, and can get away with.

There are a dizzying amount of variables when it comes to the rules of hospitality. Was the person invited? Did she bring guests of her own? Was she perhaps ever romantically involved with the host? Just how important is this woman, anyways? Indeed, the fact that each Noble House, and each branch of each Noble House, has its own version on these rules makes etiquette even more complex.

Some things, however, are sacred. The moment a guest is invited into the host's home, no matter the guest's rank, the noble host is under obligation to protect her from all harm, no matter where it might come from. In addition, he should go to great ends to make sure that her stay is at the very least, pleasant. Being known as a great host can be very beneficial to the nobility.

Guests, in turn, may not take actions that might bring embarassment nor scorn upon their host. If a host asks something of their guest, they must oblige, within reason of course. If a host was to ask some traveling nobles to escort his daughter to a Royal Banquet, they should feel obligated to do it.

Some of the other rules of hospitality detail how fine a gift should be given to the host's family based on the social statuses of both the giver and recipient, how luxurious the hospitality should be for each visitor, and even how long the visitors are allowed to stay. Many commoners find themselves completely confused by these rules. For why should an Arl have to give a baronet a more expensive present than a baron must give a thane?

Courtly Love
Love and marriage within the nobility oftentimes have nothing to do with eachother. Arranged marriages and marriages of convenience are both well known and accepted parts of noble society. The structure surrounding marriage is rigid, and these partnerships rarely lead to satisfying unions with committed participants.

Incredibly common is the joining of two people who barely know each other, could care less for the other, grow to hate one another, and carry about their business with other people. The bards are aware of this, and oftentimes sing songs about a perfect marriage, one the nobility would all wish to believe they possess. For a man or woman to commit totally and completely to another person is an important occassion, one which has spawned more songs than any other subject.

Not all ultimately sexual relationships between the nobility involve courtly love. Indeed, courtly love is rather rare in spite of all the great ballads devoted to it. Nobles are as vulnerable to momentary infatuation as anyone else. Courtly love, however, can make such infatuation much more interesting.

The suitor begins the wooing process slowly and surely, no matter the amount of feelings they possess. Rushing the initial point in the relationship may very well ruin the suitor's chances. The process is of course affected if one or both of the participants are married to another. Then this process begins a more quietly, but whether married or not nobles try to keep this stage as subtle as possible.

The inital advances include the incredibly traditional plowers, poems, and gifts; all carried by a second appointed by the suitor. While in public, the two romantics would ideally be calm and humble; as to give no hint to those unfamiliar with the relationship that anything is out of the ordinary. Of course, those wise to the ways of the nobility will almost immediately recognize the faux indifference and understand the real situation. Private meetings between the lovers are expected to be both tense and delightful. At this point in the relationship, physical contact is highly discouraged.

The presence of private meetings is a good sign that the initial stages of courting are at an end. Once both involved are certain of the other's interest their relationships becomes one of public knowledge. Their dealings become more passionate, chaotic even. Those weighed down by marriage still make an attempt to act discreetly in public.

Marriage
Not exactly belonging in this category, I was just far too lazy to figure out a good place for it. Marriage in Halicourt is often arranged, and sometimes the two parties involved have never even met before the wedding. However, this is not always the case, and many noblewomen entertain suitors in order to find a good match. Social station, wealth, and family pedigree are all important aspects.

However, when a noble house has fallen on hard times they cannot always be picky. Marrying their noble daughters to rich merchants can oftentimes alleviate financial problems, for awhile at least. This is safe for the family, as a middle class man marrying a noblewoman does not elevate the peasant; while a nobleman marrying one of the yeomanry elevates the woman. Regardless, marrying lower than your social station is frowned upon, and many families will disown members who marry a peasant.

Banquets
The ettiquette revolving around banquets and feast are relatively straightforward, however, they are physically tiring and incredibly tedious. Taking the time to memorize who stands for who can take time, and it is expected that noble men and women know these matters by heart. Initially, the guests will mingle in a meeting room, where they gossip and wait for the main event to begin. Once they are alerted that the banquet is beginning, however, they will find themselves funnelled by rank into the feasting room.

Provided commoners are not present, the local lords are allowed to tend to their appointed seating. Once there the ladies are seated first followed by the noblemen. Once they are seated, the herald announces the arrival of the Thanes. At once, the lower nobility are expected to stand out of respect for the entering Thanes. This process is continued until the highest ranking lords have been seated.

There are times, of course, where one has to be excused from the table. If one is male then the process is simple; the excusing nobleman expresses his needs, stands, and tends to them. However, for noblewomen the entire process is much more complicated. Her desire to be excused would be voiced, and the closest male is expected to stand and help her from her seat. In addition, all males of her social class are expected to stand out of respect. Noblemen who are above her on the social ladder are not obligated to stand, but are allowed to if they so choose.

Dueling
King Geoffrey is greatly oppossed to dueling in his kingdom as well as the ceremony and rituals that surround the practice, but has done very little to curb their popularity. Nobles who feel they have been greatly offended, and don't have the funds or access to an assassin, can employ the help of their friends, or expendable servants. The offended will have his companions approach the offender and denounce the man's crimes. The offending nobleman then usually draws his blade with loud objections regarding his innocence and will surely threaten to run the accuser through. To this, the accuser will promptly proclaim that there is someone even more wronged than he, and that the victim demands compensation. The accused noble will of course make a big show of his innocence in the matter and declare he will do anything to clear his name. The two then come to an agreement of a time and place to resolve the "ghastly situation."

At the agreed upon time and place, both parties will appear with sword in scabbard and a shield if they so choose. An impartial judge, commonly a local priest or unrelated noble, will declare when the duel has begun. The two duelists will then proceed to whack at each other until they are beaten and bloodied. After all, nobles do not neccessarily feel the need to fight each other to the death. If an opponent yields, the victor will usually spare the man's life. Indeed, etiquette requires that a duelist allow a disarmed opponent to regain his blade and allow a fallen opponent up. Of course, it is common for a noble to "accidentally" strike a disarmed or fallen opponent at least once.

Aside from the impartial judge, each duelist will bring as many friends and relatives he can muster to insure nothing goes awry. Other than these onlookers, duels are usually semi-private affairs.

Note that the rules involving dueling does not force a victor accept his opponent's surrender. A noble who gets a reputation to fight to the death, however, will end up making more enemies and will find it hard to stop a duel he is losing.